Song of the Weak​!​!​!

by Chandler Travis

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00:34
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I try to reach you at work, u don’t return my calls Why you gotta be that wa-ay? You threw my old comic books out in the hall WYGTBTW, WYGTBTW We try to have a conversation but we don’t get far You forgot to put the gas in the getaway car Tried to look the other way and I tried to make amends But you tore me a new one in front of my friends I confessed to some ambivalence on makin’ u my spouse Right around the time you set fire to the house I’ve always been an optimist over all But when I copied down your number in the bathroom stall I should’ve known we were headed for a fall I remember when I thought you were the bomb But I had to kinda wonder when u smothered my old mom I know the course of true love never runs smooth But I probably should’ve held out for feet instead of hooves You think I really like being disemboweled? And then u clean up all the blood with my nice embroidered towels
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Snow is on the ground and ice is on the walk It happens every year Please be extra careful going round the block Though later it may clear Ever since you slipped and fell and broke your arm In Paris years ago You’ve been seeing winter as potential harm But really it’s much more I’ll tell you why Years goodbye filled and we still count them all, I will Remember We walked across the winter spring summer fall Bye bye December, bye January I get weak at the knees, because You’re from there I don’t miss a single leaf covered tree When I am in your care Thirty-one days standing in a single file The sun is sitting low Bundled up I’d gladly walk an extra mile Wherever you may go Won’t you hold my hand if I forget the way As this may well occur Voices growing fainter though I have to say You are my only cure I’ll tell you why chorus Button up my darling, snow is everywhere We-ll walk, and then we’ll rest.
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Had a little fight, but it was just a spat Then she packed her bags and departed The pain in my heart is almost gone now But at the time it really smarted chorus: You understand, of course, that this was Through no fault of my own (You understand, of course, that this was Through no fault of his own) Out the door with a suitcase in each hand With those heavy bags she swayed She said she had to go but I think she could've And maybe even should've stayed (chorus) But it was not my fault- no I never lost control No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole? Check the brakes and check the baby Watch your manners, act your age No matter how it's plugged Something always slips down the drain Left the barn door open while I took a nap Dreamt of Hollywood for an hour When I awoke - no joke The livestock was in power (chorus) She called me from a phone booth who knows where To ask me if I'd like to apologize Pondered momentarily then said These words, not so wise: It was not my fault- no I never lost control No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole? Check the brakes, check the baby Watch your manners, act your age No matter how it's plugged Something always slips down the drain Not my fault- no, you can't pin this on me Not my fault- not as far as I can see Not my fault (he's not responsible) (repeat)
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The children are singing / the church bells are ringing Everyone’s happy, we’ve all had our nappy There’s anticipation all over the nation As hearts all race recklessly ‘Cause every mother’s son sure loves his mum on Mother’s Day And every other day / prepares for Mother’s Day It’s a festival, it’s a carnival, it’s a totally mind-numbing interval, yes it’s Mother’s Day And if Hallmark had it’s way, it would be every day There’s flowers and candy / there’s my cousin Randy There’s even a maypole (that’s kind of a staple) There’s bees making honey / there’s cats, ducks, and bunnies It’s a blessed maternal explosion! ‘Cause every mother’s son sure loves his mum on Mother’s Day And every other day / prepares for Mother’s Day It’s a special day, it’s a holiday, it’s a time when we’re apt to get carried away, it’s Mother’s Day What better time to say “I love you, Ma”
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The Navy's always telling me To be all the man that I can be While I'm not saying that goal is dumb I'm just fine with being just some I don't mean that I live to flop But from what I hear it's lonely at the top Number one's pretty good, I know But there's so many other nice numbers -and I'm I'm settling for less Settling for less When you've got pretty good, who needs the best? I'm Settling for less Being the boss might sound sweet But they're always trying to knock you off the cat bird seat And one way to make it so you don't fall far Is not to get your heart set on a star When you're in school, kids, act nonchalant When they tell you that you can be anything you want An astronaut billionaire covered in bling In school they'll tell you any damn thing -and that's why I'm Settling for less Settling for less When there's no chance in hell you'll ever get the best you better Settlle for less Settling for less Settling for less I figure I'll aim a little lower than the rest - I'm Settling for less The other night I'm down drinking at the store When in walks a girl I've never seen before Blond hair, blue eyes, a figure like Venus The kind of girl that makes you glad to have a penis. She sits herself down on the stool next to mine And pretty soon we're having a pretty good time But she seems like the kind of girl who'll break my heart Figure why the hell should I even start? Do I really need this kind of intrigue? She's smart, she's pretty, and she's out of my league Never seen nothing like her in my whole damn life But would I tell the wife? I guess I'll keep- Settling for less Settling for less Couldn't care less if I pass the test, I'd rather Settle for less Settling for less Settling for less When there's no chance in hell you'll ever get the best you better Settlle for less
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I only talked to her once And she was so shy I couldn't get much information But I'll never forget what she told me Last night -oh no I'll never forget what she told me. She said I'm sorry; The number you have Dialed is not in service Please hang up and try Your call again later Oh yeah She encouraged me to give it a try I knew just from the sound of her voice Something heavy was on her mind And if I played my cards right What then? Oh yeah I knew I had to give it a try That voice -so cynical So cold and yet so warm And someday we're gonna do the wang dang doodle All night long If I'm not reading her wrong break She said I'm sorry; The number you have Dialed is not in service Please hang up and try Your call again later Oh yeah -she said Please try your call again later
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Had a little fight, but it was just a spat Then she packed her bags and departed The pain in my heart is almost gone now But at the time it really smarted chorus: You understand, of course, that this was Through no fault of my own (You understand, of course, that this was Through no fault of his own) Out the door with a suitcase in each hand With those heavy bags she swayed She said she had to go but I think she could've And maybe even should've stayed (chorus) But it was not my fault- no I never lost control No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole? Check the brakes and check the baby Watch your manners, act your age No matter how it's plugged Something always slips down the drain Left the barn door open while I took a nap Dreamt of Hollywood for an hour When I awoke - no joke The livestock was in power (chorus) She called me from a phone booth who knows where To ask me if I'd like to apologize Pondered momentarily then said These words, not so wise: It was not my fault- no I never lost control No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole? Check the brakes, check the baby Watch your manners, act your age No matter how it's plugged Something always slips down the drain Not my fault- no, you can't pin this on me Not my fault- not as far as I can see Not my fault (he's not responsible) (repeat)
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02:31
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All my good luck is gone All my good luck is gone All my good luck is gone But I gotta keep moving All my good friends are gone Packed up and moved away And I lost my good looks Baby, I'm just a shadow With all the money I spent With all the money I spent on you, for instance With all the money I spent You'd think I'd be more popular I musta had my fun I guess I had some fun sometime anyway I know I had some fun But now I'm looking at yours I still got my dog I stll got my same old dog, Louie I stll got my dog But he's in a pretty bad mood All I got is a memory That won't let me rest Cause I know what's up there now And I know it ain't mine no more All my good luck is gone All my good luck is gone All my good luck is gone But I gotta keep moving
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The day the Casuals went abroad Was neither typical, nor all that odd I swear to God Here's a few of the highlights for you: I rose a little late, and drove like hell I really should have known they'd be late as well Picked up the mini-van in Hyannis Crossed the Sagamore; and smoked a big fatty Traffic was clear, so clear, we stopped for a beer, Waiting for our departure Got to the gate, not late, stlll feeling great Waiting for our departure Missed the smell of things going too well At the terminal, I got confused Checked in the merchandise, But not my bass, which got mis-placed I sure wished I had it later Went through security; I never learn Gave the guy my driver's license, never to return I sure wished I had it later Made a couple calls, but had no luck On changing planes, my pain was assuaged At the Stage Deli at Newark Airport Who would have guessed - the best pastrami on earth Right there at the Newark Airport Ate one slow, and took one to go The day the Casuals went to Sweden Later that night, when I thought I might like a bite there was my second sandwich And since that day, whether I'm home or away I still keep a backup sandwich Near my heart, which I learned in part The day the Casuals went to Sweden
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Go. Before I change my mind. You're lucky I'm way too tired to fight So you get one more night But don't take all my money- that's not right Great - here comes another day If you lived here, you'd be home by now, true But that's not up to you Get out of my sight before I tan your hide When I know you won't do anything I say Why do I still try? What? What's so great about torturing me? Look out your window, there's victims galore What are you waiting for Here; take all my money, I'll be fine Please -I'm symbolically on my knees Is there a chance you'd release me from this With a goodbye kiss If you'll grant me my q's, I'll give you p's When I know you won't do anything I say Why do I still try? Go. I think we're done here. By the way, Give my regards to Ray.
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Apparently I over-stepped my bounds last night That's why I'm apologizing to everyone in sight By and large my friends are pretty understanding They don't take offense at my glad-handing when I'm The mayor of drunktown The mayor of drunktown Rarely unseen, completely un-sound The mayor of drunktown The mayor of drunktown It's possible you might not need me around I got up; I got down I got bombed well before the last round I got shit-faced, I suppose Where's my clothes On my ass; out of cash I got sick; I got bruises; I got gas Must've took something at the show I don't know... The mayor of drunktown The mayor of drunktown Rarely unseen, completely un-sound The mayor of drunktown The mayor of drunktown It's possible you might not need me around
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Had a little fight, but it was just a spat Then she packed her bags and departed The pain in my heart is almost gone now But at the time it really smarted chorus: You understand, of course, that this was Through no fault of my own (You understand, of course, that this was Through no fault of his own) Out the door with a suitcase in each hand With those heavy bags she swayed She said she had to go but I think she could've And maybe even should've stayed (chorus) But it was not my fault- no I never lost control No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole? Check the brakes and check the baby Watch your manners, act your age No matter how it's plugged Something always slips down the drain Left the barn door open while I took a nap Dreamt of Hollywood for an hour When I awoke - no joke The livestock was in power (chorus) She called me from a phone booth who knows where To ask me if I'd like to apologize Pondered momentarily then said These words, not so wise: It was not my fault- no I never lost control No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole? Check the brakes, check the baby Watch your manners, act your age No matter how it's plugged Something always slips down the drain Not my fault- no, you can't pin this on me Not my fault- not as far as I can see Not my fault (he's not responsible) (repeat)
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I can't tell you / how it's gonna feel When you're too old to borrow / and not young enough to steal How you gonna treat it / when you know it's all over? I'll have to laugh / on your behalf 'Cause you saw it comin' all along There's a certain advantage / to admitting you've failed If you wanna stop searching / you'll have to trim your sail Some day young man / you're gonna have to slow down Your teeth'll fall out / and you'll lie there and shout That you saw it comin' all along
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You better get ready / to do the don't I bet you won't / do the don't Yer mama can't can't but / oh you kid You still don't know / if she did the did If doin' the don't don't do no good You could do the could if you only could If I were you I wouldn't even try To say you wouldn't do the wouldn't with another guy.
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So glad to see you, how have you been all these years? Who would have thought that the river Could bring us both back here We ran through summers, wild as the Greenbriar Rose Then you chased the lights in the city And I took the long ragged road (bridge) Sixteen years old by the Cat Hole One more gone boy and girl Sharing secrets, losing sleep to wine and the ways of the world And up on a ridge top, blue like a wave on the sea You made a promise, to waltz through the mountains with me (instrumental) (bridge) Now it’s a summers evening, stars are falling, The moon wanders over the stream And with my wish, I wish I would never, Wake from this beautiful dream So don’t think it over, years aren’t as long as they seem You made a promise, to waltz through the mountains Please waltz through the mountains Waltz through the mountains with me
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Hello Mrs. Nussbaum I've brought you some taffy I do hope I didn't wake you up I saw that your light was on thought I'd drop by Way the by, need you anything do? Oh no again we here we go Words order in the wrong Oh it darn I hate when this happens to me Wait a minute I think I'm OK again Hello Mrs. Nussbaum I've taffy brought some you Oops by drop damn anything drat Oh no again we here we go Wrong order; also swears Taffy brought Nussbaum hello - wake up again light drop That was I anything but – Mrs. some hope Hello Mrs. Nussbaum I wish my tied wasn't quite so tongue Hello Mrs. Nussbaum I ever talk not might be you the one? Oh Frida I hope I don't mind if you call that Oh Frida oh familiar too? Oh Frida oh Frida I'm calling familiar Oh Frida I too call that you If you know what I mean I Frida postal bypass. Hello Mrs. Nussbaum I've brought you some taffy I do hope I didn't wake up you
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I want my heart back But you've kept it so long now, I'm embarrassed to ask I want my heart back, But I know what you'll say, you'll say, It doesn't sound familiar; what did it look like? Are you sure you gave it to me? I want my heart back But only if you're done with it -I don't need it right away Sure, I know you're good for it, but this isn't the first time you've borrowed my stuff Treated it rough Returned it on empty and dented I want my heart back But I feel a little strange even bringing it up I want my heart back. On second thought, never mind- What would I do with it? You seem to like it so Keep it and wear it in good health I don't think I'll be needing it anymore.
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Fruit Bat Fruit Bat Fruit Bat
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Oh fuck the Yankees anyway -them and the horse they rode on You say that I'm a bad sport -well here's my retort: Up yours, buddy boy I've got a red-hot poker for Bucky Dent (I mean, Aaron Boone - Why is it always some jerk you've never heard of?) I guess there's always next year; oh, what the hell am I thinking about? -Pass the arsenic Oh fuck the Yankees anyway -them and their 26 world championships World championships are nice, but we've still got Thoreau And wicked good chowdah Those bastards beat us again -this is starting to get annoying You say it's a curse, but I say it's worse Screw the Bambino! And fuck the Yankees anyway!
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"ANNE" (the "BEFORE" version) When it's after "Judge Judy" in the afternoon, And it's time to walk the dogs Little E will bark at me until she gets her way And on occasion we exchange a "hi there, neighbor, how's by you?" If I'm lucky maybe she'll be making margueritas as the sun goes down Oh life is hard from yard to yard in Eastham town And my good neighbor is my favorite Former lounge piano-playing, swimming teaching vice-principal in charge of flattering people into an acquiescent jello-like frame of mind. Whoa-oh Anne I'm just about your biggest fan I'm more than a flash in your gravy pan Whoa-oh Anne... Anne We all love you, hon, that's why we're here That and 'cause you're even older now than you were last year Whoa-oh Anne Anne Both 'Becca and Elise agree When it comes to the sand and the deep blue sea All the others are just Gramma Up wanna-be's And that goes double for the pups and Rache and me Whoa-oh Anne "ANNE" (the "AFTER" version) When it's after "Judge Judy" in the afternoon, And it's time to walk the dogs Across the street, sometimes I'll see a friendly face And on occasion we exchange a "hi there, neighbor, how's by you?" If I'm lucky maybe she'll be making margueritas as the sun goes down Oh life is hard from yard to yard in Eastham town And my good neighbor is my favorite Former lounge piano-playing, swimming teaching librarian in charge of stunning people into an acquiescent jello-like frame of mind. Whoa-oh Anne I'm just about your biggest fan I'm more than a flash in your gravy pan Whoa-oh Anne... Anne I'm curious to say the least Tell me beauty could you use a beast Whoa-oh Anne Anne When you're hanging your wash on your laundry line In that little blue dress in the summertime I never used to think of myself as the cheating kind But your husband's never home, do you think he'd mind? Whoa-oh Anne
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Every week (or so), we at Chandler Travis HQ bring you a new track for your listening and downloading pleasure. Some are demo tracks of songs just written, some are live performances, some are studio outtakes.

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released July 18, 2013

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Chandler Travis Philharmonic Massachusetts

THE CHANDLER TRAVIS PHILHARMONIC is a 9-piece technicolor extravaganza from Boston that includes a horn section, string bass, mandocello, guitar, keys, drums, accordion, and valet. George Carlin and NRBQ are among their longtime supporters; others include Bonnie Raitt, Elvis Costello, Bruce Springsteen, Of Montreal, Ween, and yer mother. ... more

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