Song of the Weak​!​!​!

by Chandler Travis

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about

Every week (or so), we at Chandler Travis HQ bring you a new track for your listening and downloading pleasure. Some are demo tracks of songs just written, some are live performances, some are studio outtakes.

credits

released July 18, 2013

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all rights reserved

about

Chandler Travis Philharmonic Massachusetts

THE CHANDLER TRAVIS PHILHARMONIC is a 9-piece technicolor extravaganza from Boston that includes a horn section, string bass, mandocello, guitar, keys, drums, accordion, and valet. George Carlin and NRBQ are among their longtime supporters; others include Bonnie Raitt, Elvis Costello, Bruce Springsteen, Of Montreal, Ween, and yer mother. ... more

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Track Name: Why You Gotta Be That Way
I try to reach you at work, u don’t return my calls
Why you gotta be that wa-ay?
You threw my old comic books out in the hall
WYGTBTW, WYGTBTW

We try to have a conversation but we don’t get far
You forgot to put the gas in the getaway car

Tried to look the other way and I tried to make amends
But you tore me a new one in front of my friends

I confessed to some ambivalence on makin’ u my spouse
Right around the time you set fire to the house

I’ve always been an optimist over all
But when I copied down your number in the bathroom stall
I should’ve known we were headed for a fall

I remember when I thought you were the bomb
But I had to kinda wonder when u smothered my old mom

I know the course of true love never runs smooth
But I probably should’ve held out for feet instead of hooves

You think I really like being disemboweled?
And then u clean up all the blood with my nice embroidered towels
Track Name: January (demo)
Snow is on the ground and ice is on the walk
It happens every year
Please be extra careful going round the block
Though later it may clear

Ever since you slipped and fell and broke your arm
In Paris years ago
You’ve been seeing winter as potential harm
But really it’s much more
I’ll tell you why

Years goodbye filled and we still count them all, I will
Remember
We walked across the winter spring summer fall
Bye bye December, bye

January I get weak at the knees, because
You’re from there
I don’t miss a single leaf covered tree
When I am in your care

Thirty-one days standing in a single file
The sun is sitting low
Bundled up I’d gladly walk an extra mile
Wherever you may go

Won’t you hold my hand if I forget the way
As this may well occur
Voices growing fainter though I have to say
You are my only cure
I’ll tell you why

chorus

Button up my darling, snow is everywhere
We-ll walk, and then we’ll rest.
Track Name: Chandler Travis Philharmonic - Not My Fault
Had a little fight, but it was just a spat
Then she packed her bags and departed
The pain in my heart is almost gone now
But at the time it really smarted

chorus: You understand, of course, that this was
Through no fault of my own
(You understand, of course, that this was
Through no fault of his own)

Out the door with a suitcase in each hand
With those heavy bags she swayed
She said she had to go but I think she could've
And maybe even should've stayed

(chorus)

But it was not my fault- no I never lost control
No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole?
Check the brakes and check the baby
Watch your manners, act your age
No matter how it's plugged
Something always slips down the drain

Left the barn door open while I took a nap
Dreamt of Hollywood for an hour
When I awoke - no joke
The livestock was in power

(chorus)

She called me from a phone booth who knows where
To ask me if I'd like to apologize
Pondered momentarily then said
These words, not so wise:

It was not my fault- no I never lost control
No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole?
Check the brakes, check the baby
Watch your manners, act your age
No matter how it's plugged
Something always slips down the drain

Not my fault- no, you can't pin this on me
Not my fault- not as far as I can see
Not my fault (he's not responsible) (repeat)
Track Name: Mothers Day
The children are singing / the church bells are ringing
Everyone’s happy, we’ve all had our nappy
There’s anticipation all over the nation
As hearts all race recklessly

‘Cause every mother’s son sure loves his mum on Mother’s Day
And every other day / prepares for Mother’s Day
It’s a festival, it’s a carnival, it’s a totally mind-numbing interval, yes it’s Mother’s Day
And if Hallmark had it’s way, it would be every day

There’s flowers and candy / there’s my cousin Randy
There’s even a maypole (that’s kind of a staple)
There’s bees making honey / there’s cats, ducks, and bunnies
It’s a blessed maternal explosion!

‘Cause every mother’s son sure loves his mum on Mother’s Day
And every other day / prepares for Mother’s Day
It’s a special day, it’s a holiday, it’s a time when we’re apt to get carried away, it’s Mother’s Day
What better time to say “I love you, Ma”
Track Name: Chandler Travis Philharmonette - Settling for Less (rehearsal)
The Navy's always telling me
To be all the man that I can be
While I'm not saying that goal is dumb
I'm just fine with being just some

I don't mean that I live to flop
But from what I hear it's lonely at the top
Number one's pretty good, I know
But there's so many other nice numbers -and I'm

I'm settling for less
Settling for less
When you've got pretty good, who needs the best? I'm
Settling for less

Being the boss might sound sweet
But they're always trying to knock you off the cat bird seat
And one way to make it so you don't fall far
Is not to get your heart set on a star

When you're in school, kids, act nonchalant
When they tell you that you can be anything you want
An astronaut billionaire covered in bling
In school they'll tell you any damn thing -and that's why I'm

Settling for less
Settling for less
When there's no chance in hell you'll ever get the best you better
Settlle for less
Settling for less
Settling for less
I figure I'll aim a little lower than the rest - I'm
Settling for less

The other night I'm down drinking at the store
When in walks a girl I've never seen before
Blond hair, blue eyes, a figure like Venus
The kind of girl that makes you glad to have a penis.

She sits herself down on the stool next to mine
And pretty soon we're having a pretty good time
But she seems like the kind of girl who'll break my heart
Figure why the hell should I even start?

Do I really need this kind of intrigue?
She's smart, she's pretty, and she's out of my league
Never seen nothing like her in my whole damn life
But would I tell the wife? I guess I'll keep-

Settling for less
Settling for less
Couldn't care less if I pass the test, I'd rather
Settle for less

Settling for less
Settling for less
When there's no chance in hell you'll ever get the best you better
Settlle for less
Track Name: Not In Service
I only talked to her once
And she was so shy
I couldn't get much information
But I'll never forget what she told me
Last night -oh no
I'll never forget what she told me.

She said I'm sorry;
The number you have
Dialed is not in service
Please hang up and try
Your call again later
Oh yeah
She encouraged me to give it a try

I knew just from the sound of her voice
Something heavy was on her mind
And if I played my cards right
What then?
Oh yeah
I knew I had to give it a try

That voice -so cynical
So cold and yet so warm
And someday we're gonna do the wang dang doodle
All night long
If I'm not reading her wrong

break

She said I'm sorry;
The number you have
Dialed is not in service
Please hang up and try
Your call again later
Oh yeah -she said
Please try your call again later
Track Name: Chandler Travis Philharmonic - Not My Fault
Had a little fight, but it was just a spat
Then she packed her bags and departed
The pain in my heart is almost gone now
But at the time it really smarted

chorus: You understand, of course, that this was
Through no fault of my own
(You understand, of course, that this was
Through no fault of his own)

Out the door with a suitcase in each hand
With those heavy bags she swayed
She said she had to go but I think she could've
And maybe even should've stayed

(chorus)

But it was not my fault- no I never lost control
No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole?
Check the brakes and check the baby
Watch your manners, act your age
No matter how it's plugged
Something always slips down the drain

Left the barn door open while I took a nap
Dreamt of Hollywood for an hour
When I awoke - no joke
The livestock was in power

(chorus)

She called me from a phone booth who knows where
To ask me if I'd like to apologize
Pondered momentarily then said
These words, not so wise:

It was not my fault- no I never lost control
No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole?
Check the brakes, check the baby
Watch your manners, act your age
No matter how it's plugged
Something always slips down the drain

Not my fault- no, you can't pin this on me
Not my fault- not as far as I can see
Not my fault (he's not responsible) (repeat)
Track Name: Chandler Travis Philharmonette - All My Good Luck is Gone
All my good luck is gone
All my good luck is gone
All my good luck is gone
But I gotta keep moving

All my good friends are gone
Packed up and moved away
And I lost my good looks
Baby, I'm just a shadow

With all the money I spent
With all the money I spent on you, for instance
With all the money I spent
You'd think I'd be more popular

I musta had my fun
I guess I had some fun sometime anyway
I know I had some fun
But now I'm looking at yours

I still got my dog
I stll got my same old dog, Louie
I stll got my dog
But he's in a pretty bad mood

All I got is a memory
That won't let me rest
Cause I know what's up there now
And I know it ain't mine no more

All my good luck is gone
All my good luck is gone
All my good luck is gone
But I gotta keep moving
Track Name: Chandler Travis Philharmonette - The Day the Casuals Went to Sweden
The day the Casuals went abroad
Was neither typical, nor all that odd
I swear to God
Here's a few of the highlights for you:

I rose a little late, and drove like hell
I really should have known they'd be late as well
Picked up the mini-van in Hyannis
Crossed the Sagamore; and smoked a big fatty

Traffic was clear, so clear, we stopped for a beer,
Waiting for our departure
Got to the gate, not late, stlll feeling great
Waiting for our departure
Missed the smell of things going too well

At the terminal, I got confused
Checked in the merchandise,
But not my bass, which got mis-placed
I sure wished I had it later

Went through security; I never learn
Gave the guy my driver's license, never to return
I sure wished I had it later
Made a couple calls, but had no luck

On changing planes, my pain was assuaged
At the Stage Deli at Newark Airport
Who would have guessed - the best pastrami on earth
Right there at the Newark Airport
Ate one slow, and took one to go
The day the Casuals went to Sweden

Later that night, when I thought I might like a bite
there was my second sandwich
And since that day, whether I'm home or away
I still keep a backup sandwich
Near my heart, which I learned in part
The day the Casuals went to Sweden
Track Name: Chandler Travis Philharmonette - Give My Regards to Ray
Go.
Before I change my mind.
You're lucky I'm way too tired to fight
So you get one more night
But don't take all my money- that's not right

Great - here comes another day
If you lived here, you'd be home by now, true
But that's not up to you
Get out of my sight before I tan your hide

When I know you won't do anything I say
Why do I still try?

What? What's so great about torturing me?
Look out your window, there's victims galore
What are you waiting for
Here; take all my money, I'll be fine

Please -I'm symbolically on my knees
Is there a chance you'd release me from this
With a goodbye kiss
If you'll grant me my q's, I'll give you p's

When I know you won't do anything I say
Why do I still try?

Go.
I think we're done here.
By the way,
Give my regards to Ray.
Track Name: Chandler Travis Philharmonette - Mayor of Drunktown
Apparently I over-stepped my bounds last night
That's why I'm apologizing to everyone in sight
By and large my friends are pretty understanding
They don't take offense at my glad-handing when I'm

The mayor of drunktown
The mayor of drunktown
Rarely unseen, completely un-sound
The mayor of drunktown
The mayor of drunktown
It's possible you might not need me around

I got up; I got down
I got bombed well before the last round
I got shit-faced, I suppose
Where's my clothes

On my ass; out of cash
I got sick; I got bruises; I got gas
Must've took something at the show
I don't know...

The mayor of drunktown
The mayor of drunktown
Rarely unseen, completely un-sound
The mayor of drunktown
The mayor of drunktown
It's possible you might not need me around
Track Name: Not My Fault (demo)
Had a little fight, but it was just a spat
Then she packed her bags and departed
The pain in my heart is almost gone now
But at the time it really smarted

chorus: You understand, of course, that this was
Through no fault of my own
(You understand, of course, that this was
Through no fault of his own)

Out the door with a suitcase in each hand
With those heavy bags she swayed
She said she had to go but I think she could've
And maybe even should've stayed

(chorus)

But it was not my fault- no I never lost control
No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole?
Check the brakes and check the baby
Watch your manners, act your age
No matter how it's plugged
Something always slips down the drain

Left the barn door open while I took a nap
Dreamt of Hollywood for an hour
When I awoke - no joke
The livestock was in power

(chorus)

She called me from a phone booth who knows where
To ask me if I'd like to apologize
Pondered momentarily then said
These words, not so wise:

It was not my fault- no I never lost control
No it was not my fault- could you run that up the flagpole?
Check the brakes, check the baby
Watch your manners, act your age
No matter how it's plugged
Something always slips down the drain

Not my fault- no, you can't pin this on me
Not my fault- not as far as I can see
Not my fault (he's not responsible) (repeat)
Track Name: Chandler Travis Philharmonic - Saw It Comin' All Along
I can't tell you / how it's gonna feel
When you're too old to borrow / and not young enough to steal
How you gonna treat it / when you know it's all over?
I'll have to laugh / on your behalf
'Cause you saw it comin' all along

There's a certain advantage / to admitting you've failed
If you wanna stop searching / you'll have to trim your sail
Some day young man / you're gonna have to slow down
Your teeth'll fall out / and you'll lie there and shout
That you saw it comin' all along
Track Name: Chandler Travis Philharmonic - Do the Don't
You better get ready / to do the don't
I bet you won't / do the don't
Yer mama can't can't but / oh you kid
You still don't know / if she did the did

If doin' the don't don't do no good
You could do the could if you only could
If I were you I wouldn't even try
To say you wouldn't do the wouldn't with another guy.
Track Name: Dinty Child - Greenbriar Waltz
So glad to see you, how have you been all these years?
Who would have thought that the river
Could bring us both back here
We ran through summers, wild as the Greenbriar Rose
Then you chased the lights in the city
And I took the long ragged road

(bridge)
Sixteen years old by the Cat Hole
One more gone boy and girl
Sharing secrets, losing sleep to wine and the ways of the world

And up on a ridge top, blue like a wave on the sea
You made a promise, to waltz through the mountains with me

(instrumental)

(bridge)

Now it’s a summers evening, stars are falling,
The moon wanders over the stream
And with my wish, I wish I would never,
Wake from this beautiful dream

So don’t think it over, years aren’t as long as they seem
You made a promise, to waltz through the mountains

Please waltz through the mountains
Waltz through the mountains with me
Track Name: Hello Mrs. Nussbaum
Hello Mrs. Nussbaum I've brought you some taffy
I do hope I didn't wake you up
I saw that your light was on thought I'd drop by
Way the by, need you anything do?
Oh no again we here we go
Words order in the wrong

Oh it darn I hate when this happens to me
Wait a minute I think I'm OK again
Hello Mrs. Nussbaum I've taffy brought some you
Oops by drop damn anything drat
Oh no again we here we go
Wrong order; also swears

Taffy brought Nussbaum hello - wake up again light drop
That was I anything but – Mrs. some hope

Hello Mrs. Nussbaum I wish my tied wasn't quite so tongue
Hello Mrs. Nussbaum I ever talk not might be you the one?

Oh Frida I hope I don't mind if you call that
Oh Frida oh familiar too?
Oh Frida oh Frida I'm calling familiar
Oh Frida I too call that you
If you know what I mean
I Frida postal bypass.

Hello Mrs. Nussbaum I've brought you some taffy
I do hope I didn't wake up you
Track Name: Chandler Travis & Tim Dickey - I Want My Heart Back
I want my heart back
But you've kept it so long now, I'm embarrassed to ask
I want my heart back, But I know what you'll say, you'll say,
It doesn't sound familiar; what did it look like?
Are you sure you gave it to me?

I want my heart back
But only if you're done with it -I don't need it right away
Sure, I know you're good for it, but this isn't the first time you've borrowed my stuff
Treated it rough
Returned it on empty and dented

I want my heart back
But I feel a little strange even bringing it up
I want my heart back. On second thought, never mind-
What would I do with it? You seem to like it so
Keep it and wear it in good health
I don't think I'll be needing it anymore.
Track Name: Chandler Travis Philharmonic - Fruit Bat Fun
Fruit Bat
Fruit Bat
Fruit
Bat
Track Name: Grady Little Philharmonic - Fuck the Yankees
Oh fuck the Yankees anyway -them and the horse they rode on
You say that I'm a bad sport -well here's my retort:
Up yours, buddy boy

I've got a red-hot poker for Bucky Dent (I mean, Aaron Boone -
Why is it always some jerk you've never heard of?)
I guess there's always next year; oh, what the hell am I thinking about?
-Pass the arsenic

Oh fuck the Yankees anyway -them and their 26 world championships
World championships are nice, but we've still got Thoreau
And wicked good chowdah

Those bastards beat us again -this is starting to get annoying
You say it's a curse, but I say it's worse
Screw the Bambino!

And fuck the Yankees anyway!
Track Name: Chandler Travis Philharmonic - Anne
"ANNE" (the "BEFORE" version)

When it's after "Judge Judy" in the afternoon,
And it's time to walk the dogs
Little E will bark at me until she gets her way
And on occasion we exchange a
"hi there, neighbor, how's by you?"

If I'm lucky maybe she'll be making margueritas
as the sun goes down
Oh life is hard from yard to yard in Eastham town
And my good neighbor is my favorite
Former lounge piano-playing,
swimming teaching vice-principal
in charge of flattering people into an acquiescent
jello-like frame of mind.

Whoa-oh Anne
I'm just about your biggest fan
I'm more than a flash in your gravy pan
Whoa-oh Anne... Anne
We all love you, hon, that's why we're here
That and 'cause you're even older now
than you were last year
Whoa-oh Anne

Anne
Both 'Becca and Elise agree
When it comes to the sand and the deep blue sea
All the others are just Gramma Up wanna-be's
And that goes double for the pups and Rache and me
Whoa-oh Anne


"ANNE" (the "AFTER" version)

When it's after "Judge Judy" in the afternoon,
And it's time to walk the dogs
Across the street, sometimes I'll see a friendly face
And on occasion we exchange a
"hi there, neighbor, how's by you?"

If I'm lucky maybe she'll be making margueritas
as the sun goes down
Oh life is hard from yard to yard in Eastham town
And my good neighbor is my favorite
Former lounge piano-playing,
swimming teaching librarian
in charge of stunning people into an acquiescent
jello-like frame of mind.

Whoa-oh Anne
I'm just about your biggest fan
I'm more than a flash in your gravy pan
Whoa-oh Anne... Anne
I'm curious to say the least
Tell me beauty could you use a beast
Whoa-oh Anne

Anne
When you're hanging your wash on your laundry line
In that little blue dress in the summertime
I never used to think of myself as the cheating kind
But your husband's never home, do you think he'd mind?

Whoa-oh Anne